"Dammit Saxophones! I can't shoot you until you get in the
crosshairs!"--Dr. Nimmo
"Stop sucking and understate your pizzazz!"--Stephanie
"Tillman, if you don't shut up I will follow you around for
the rest of
your natural life and sing Eminem lyrics at you!"
"I wish I could use 'the force'...I'd make Hank Toutain my
puppet and
he would dance at all my lectures."
Guy 1: "I wish I had a pegleg."
Guy 2: "Like... a real one?"
Guy 1: "Well it would be physical, but I'd think of it as an
emotional
peg leg."
Girl: "You'd have to decorate it."
Guy 2: "Yeah, like with patterns and stuff."
Guy 1: "That's true. My peg leg would have to be timeless."
Girl: "You should paint my face on it."
Guy 1: "I could charge people a dollar to lick it in winter"
Guy 2: "Wait... aren't peg legs wooden?"
Guy 1: "Yeah, but they'd be symbolically licking her face and
I'd get
to watch them ingest lead based paint."
"Don't threaten me with up when I can hardly make my forward
work!"--Rachel
"What if Voldemort was chicken pox?"--Stephanie
"What would I need to major in to become a toasted
marshmallow? Aside
from the constant fire hazard I think I would find that
fulfilling..."--Stephanie
"King Arthur: fighting against illegal immigration since
300!"--Prof.
Eliason
"This is a literary tradition that is long and strong"--Prof.
Eliason
"And down to get the friction on!"--kid in the front row
"No, the copulation comes at the end of the book"--Prof.
Eliason
"I've noticed an alarming trend where you all come to my class
every
day. Stop it. It's creepy."--Prof. Eliason
Steffi: "There is a banana in the stairwell."
Elise: "Yep."
Steffi: "It's duct taped to the wall."
Elise: "yep."
Steffi: "Wh...?"
Elise: "It's better if you don't ask questions."